I'M A CRIPPLE
Sorry to all my snapchat friends that have been getting these types of photos. Yes, I threw out my back. I've told this story many times---so here's how it happened. Rewind to June 19th (day before Alex's birthday). I was babysitting some of our favorite kids in our neighborhood. 6, 3 and 1 1/2 year olds. I went over there in the morning and was going to babysit them the whole day and night since their parents were running the Ragnar. The morning went great. By lunch-time, my lower back was feeling a little strain. Nothing I hadn't felt before, so I brushed it off. I made the grilled cheese and served up the kids. I went to pick up Leah (1 1/2 year old) to put her in her high-chair, bent down, and twisted to put her in her high-chair. GAME OVER. I immediately felt the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life. It was an 11 our of 10 bad. I hobbled to the couch to lay/sit/try to make myself comfortable and was telling the kids "You guys, I really hurt my back. Something is wrong". Something was seriously wrong. I had one of the boys get my phone from the counter and considered calling 911 because I was literally stuck and had no idea what to do. Instead I called Alex, and of course he was at work and didn't answer. I started to think of who else to call and my mind jumped to my neighbor, Vanessa. She (thankfully) answered and I probably sounded like a frantic, helpless little girl because I was on the verge of crying, "Vanessa, will you come help me? I've hurt my back, I'm watching the kids, I can't move..." She was at the pool with her kids and another girl from our neighborhood, Holly. They raced over in 5 minutes and immediately helped the kids with the rest of their lunch, got me a pillow, pain meds...whatever I needed. But it was such a relief and they really are angels on earth for answering that call and coming to my rescue.
While I was a bum just laying there, I think I was slightly in shock. I got cold, and was shaking a little bit. I had also taken about 4 or 5 ibuprofen so maybe that wasn't good either, but I was in so much pain, anything helped. Around 3pm I had to pee really bad. I hated that I had to go to the bathroom because I couldn't move. It took me about 15 minutes just to get up off the couch with the slowest movement. I felt like a grandma and so helpless. I had to hold onto the wall all the way to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom was even more difficult. I kind of had to go like a boy. I'll just leave it at that. Washing my hands was just as hard too since I couldn't lean forward in the slightest.
Alex finally came back around 5:30 and took the kids to the park and made them dinner. Seeing as he's never changed a diaper or put 3 kids to bed, we called for help again. That was fun to listen to. That night, Alex slept on the floor next to me and I took a muscle relaxant (which did NOTHING). So I started to suspect that this wasn't a muscle problem.
For the whole 10 hours that I was lying helpless, I had so many thoughts running through my mind:
"Why me?"
"I feel so stupid that I can't move"
"I'm an athlete"
"No more work for me for a while"
"Please, God, just help me to get up to go to the bathroom"
"I want this pain to just go away"
"I'm only 23 years old for crying out loud"
"If only I had listened to my back and not lifted that little girl"
"Should I be going to a walk-in clinic/calling 911?"
"I want my Mom"
Just a handful of my thoughts. However, one thought did enter my mind that I don't think I'll ever forget. I was lying on the couch facing the front door of the house. There was a beautiful picture of Christ right above that door and as I looked at it, I got a distinct feeling that "You are not alone". "Someone has felt your pain". Boy, was that the most calming, reassuring, beautiful thought I had that day. I still felt a little depressed, but any thought like that helped. I also had Alex give me a beautiful blessing after the kids went to bed that calmed me down and gave me even more reassurance.
Well, the next day I woke up and still didn't move for the first hour except to go to the bathroom, in which Alex assisted me. This is what marriage is all about, I tell ya! The other babysitter came another hour later to take over...because we were supposed to be leaving to celebrate Alex's freaking birthday! Yes, I ruined Alex's 26th birthday. We were supposed to have a fun date at Park City, but alas, my back had taken over. I did already have the presents and had Alex's brother bring over some lunch. Throughout the day, I was actually able to walk around, however my spine was curved so I leaned (embarrassingly) to the left. We went out to dinner and I did okay. It hurt to sit (or stand) too long. Lying was where I liked it best.
The following Monday, I immediately got in to see a Doctor and he gave me some pain meds which I ended up being allergic to...so that was no help. He also referred me to a physical therapist, which I started that Thursday. I went in to a chiropractor Tuesday of that week and he did my first adjustment. The rest of that week? Lots of laying, resting, reading, catching up on things I needed to get done...and a whole lot of nothing. I got a temp to cover my patients at work. Thankfully, being a dental hygienist is one of the most flexible jobs. As luck would have it, my in-laws came in to town that weekend for a wedding and helped make meals, clean the house, and just keep me company. They have no idea how much help they were. Then immediately the next week my family came into town for the 4th of July and did the same thing by cleaning, making food, making me not be a bum and do fun things with me. Moms are a whole different kind of angel. I think my Mom called me every single day to check up on me.
I do need to also thank all those that brought me dinner/treats/called or texted to see how I was doing/sending me packages (aka Julia the best sister-in-law ever)
Seriously?! Julia is the cutest^^^
I teared up every time someone did something for me. The worst day I had was the first week I went back to work. I only worked about two hours a day (one or two patients). Monday and Tuesday were okay but Wednesday I worked on one lady and then my back spazzed really bad right after. I started leaning to the left again more and my hips were KILLING. I was getting better only to get worse that day. It was such a downer and I was depressed/crying that afternoon. I was supposed to work two more hours the next day and then another 4 hours the next Monday. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it at all and prayed so hard that I would just be able to get through the next day. I know that my prayers were heard because two different people brought me treats that day (both actually not knowing that I hurt my back) and my neighbor who only comes in to town a couple times a year called me the next morning just to see how I was doing. SERIOUSLY?! God answers prayers and knows how to use people here on earth to comfort others. When I woke up I felt almost opposite. Most of my pain was completely gone, I was able to work, I was happier...it was truly a miracle. So thank you to those that prayed for me that day (or at all during this time).
Today I feel about 85% back to my normal self. I have reeeeallly been taking things easy. Yesterday was my first day back to the gym, which was successful. I've been going to the chiropractor 2-3x/week, physical therapy 1-2x/week and stretching morning and night, not missing a day. I think I'm going to take up Yoga or something to make myself more flexible. Oh...duh. I forgot to even say what my diagnosis was. I did not actually get an MRI, but my chiropractor suspects (and is almost 100% sure) that I have a torn or herniated disc. That place is my favorite place to go to EVER. My chiropractor works miracles. Seriously, go to Aznar Chiropractic if you are in any pain. Physical therapy has been equally as good. I'm a total old person looking forward to these appointments, but I just get so excited to feel any recovery!
What I've learned from this awful experience:
1. Everyone experiences pain in life. I don't know how many people I've talked to who have thrown out their back or had similar injuries. But I'm not only talking about physical pain, but mental pain as well. Props to anyone who has been through any difficult pain.
2. God listens to prayers. I already explained this, but I truly believe this.
3. My family cares for me more than anyone on this earth. My mom and dad will always be my mom and dad. My husband will always be my husband. And they will always love me. ALWAYS.
4. Listen to your professionals (unless it's the first doctor you go to and he's old and crotchety and you disagree with him...ask me for details). If I had not done my stretches, gone to my appointments, done exactly what I was told---I would not be getting better.
5. THINGS DO GET BETTER. This situation seemed impossible at the beginning. I wanted to cry, hide, be a different person. But I look back and think, "WOW. I can actually walk normal now, sit for longer than 30 min. and not want to die, and I'm in hardly any pain now". Sometimes we think of something as never ending. There is always an answer. Always help. Always someone or something that can comfort us. And always an end to a trial.
Sorry this was so long, but I figured I should write it down before I forgot all of these emotions. This may not seem like a super big deal to some people, but I really haven't experienced any "major hardship" in my life. No serious injuries, no loved-ones dying, no huge financial issues, etc. But this was hard for me. So thank you, thank you, thank you to all those who helped me in any way. You have no idea how much I love you. This will probably be a problem the rest of my life and I'm going to have to be careful. But it is what it is. Don't feel bad for me, I'm fine :) I will move on and go back to normal life. For now it's one baby step at a time, which I am okay with! Every small step is a miracle and something worth celebrating!
xoxo,
kay
While I was a bum just laying there, I think I was slightly in shock. I got cold, and was shaking a little bit. I had also taken about 4 or 5 ibuprofen so maybe that wasn't good either, but I was in so much pain, anything helped. Around 3pm I had to pee really bad. I hated that I had to go to the bathroom because I couldn't move. It took me about 15 minutes just to get up off the couch with the slowest movement. I felt like a grandma and so helpless. I had to hold onto the wall all the way to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom was even more difficult. I kind of had to go like a boy. I'll just leave it at that. Washing my hands was just as hard too since I couldn't lean forward in the slightest.
Alex finally came back around 5:30 and took the kids to the park and made them dinner. Seeing as he's never changed a diaper or put 3 kids to bed, we called for help again. That was fun to listen to. That night, Alex slept on the floor next to me and I took a muscle relaxant (which did NOTHING). So I started to suspect that this wasn't a muscle problem.
For the whole 10 hours that I was lying helpless, I had so many thoughts running through my mind:
"Why me?"
"I feel so stupid that I can't move"
"I'm an athlete"
"No more work for me for a while"
"Please, God, just help me to get up to go to the bathroom"
"I want this pain to just go away"
"I'm only 23 years old for crying out loud"
"If only I had listened to my back and not lifted that little girl"
"Should I be going to a walk-in clinic/calling 911?"
"I want my Mom"
Just a handful of my thoughts. However, one thought did enter my mind that I don't think I'll ever forget. I was lying on the couch facing the front door of the house. There was a beautiful picture of Christ right above that door and as I looked at it, I got a distinct feeling that "You are not alone". "Someone has felt your pain". Boy, was that the most calming, reassuring, beautiful thought I had that day. I still felt a little depressed, but any thought like that helped. I also had Alex give me a beautiful blessing after the kids went to bed that calmed me down and gave me even more reassurance.
Well, the next day I woke up and still didn't move for the first hour except to go to the bathroom, in which Alex assisted me. This is what marriage is all about, I tell ya! The other babysitter came another hour later to take over...because we were supposed to be leaving to celebrate Alex's freaking birthday! Yes, I ruined Alex's 26th birthday. We were supposed to have a fun date at Park City, but alas, my back had taken over. I did already have the presents and had Alex's brother bring over some lunch. Throughout the day, I was actually able to walk around, however my spine was curved so I leaned (embarrassingly) to the left. We went out to dinner and I did okay. It hurt to sit (or stand) too long. Lying was where I liked it best.
The following Monday, I immediately got in to see a Doctor and he gave me some pain meds which I ended up being allergic to...so that was no help. He also referred me to a physical therapist, which I started that Thursday. I went in to a chiropractor Tuesday of that week and he did my first adjustment. The rest of that week? Lots of laying, resting, reading, catching up on things I needed to get done...and a whole lot of nothing. I got a temp to cover my patients at work. Thankfully, being a dental hygienist is one of the most flexible jobs. As luck would have it, my in-laws came in to town that weekend for a wedding and helped make meals, clean the house, and just keep me company. They have no idea how much help they were. Then immediately the next week my family came into town for the 4th of July and did the same thing by cleaning, making food, making me not be a bum and do fun things with me. Moms are a whole different kind of angel. I think my Mom called me every single day to check up on me.
I do need to also thank all those that brought me dinner/treats/called or texted to see how I was doing/sending me packages (aka Julia the best sister-in-law ever)
I teared up every time someone did something for me. The worst day I had was the first week I went back to work. I only worked about two hours a day (one or two patients). Monday and Tuesday were okay but Wednesday I worked on one lady and then my back spazzed really bad right after. I started leaning to the left again more and my hips were KILLING. I was getting better only to get worse that day. It was such a downer and I was depressed/crying that afternoon. I was supposed to work two more hours the next day and then another 4 hours the next Monday. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it at all and prayed so hard that I would just be able to get through the next day. I know that my prayers were heard because two different people brought me treats that day (both actually not knowing that I hurt my back) and my neighbor who only comes in to town a couple times a year called me the next morning just to see how I was doing. SERIOUSLY?! God answers prayers and knows how to use people here on earth to comfort others. When I woke up I felt almost opposite. Most of my pain was completely gone, I was able to work, I was happier...it was truly a miracle. So thank you to those that prayed for me that day (or at all during this time).
Today I feel about 85% back to my normal self. I have reeeeallly been taking things easy. Yesterday was my first day back to the gym, which was successful. I've been going to the chiropractor 2-3x/week, physical therapy 1-2x/week and stretching morning and night, not missing a day. I think I'm going to take up Yoga or something to make myself more flexible. Oh...duh. I forgot to even say what my diagnosis was. I did not actually get an MRI, but my chiropractor suspects (and is almost 100% sure) that I have a torn or herniated disc. That place is my favorite place to go to EVER. My chiropractor works miracles. Seriously, go to Aznar Chiropractic if you are in any pain. Physical therapy has been equally as good. I'm a total old person looking forward to these appointments, but I just get so excited to feel any recovery!
What I've learned from this awful experience:
1. Everyone experiences pain in life. I don't know how many people I've talked to who have thrown out their back or had similar injuries. But I'm not only talking about physical pain, but mental pain as well. Props to anyone who has been through any difficult pain.
2. God listens to prayers. I already explained this, but I truly believe this.
3. My family cares for me more than anyone on this earth. My mom and dad will always be my mom and dad. My husband will always be my husband. And they will always love me. ALWAYS.
4. Listen to your professionals (unless it's the first doctor you go to and he's old and crotchety and you disagree with him...ask me for details). If I had not done my stretches, gone to my appointments, done exactly what I was told---I would not be getting better.
5. THINGS DO GET BETTER. This situation seemed impossible at the beginning. I wanted to cry, hide, be a different person. But I look back and think, "WOW. I can actually walk normal now, sit for longer than 30 min. and not want to die, and I'm in hardly any pain now". Sometimes we think of something as never ending. There is always an answer. Always help. Always someone or something that can comfort us. And always an end to a trial.
Sorry this was so long, but I figured I should write it down before I forgot all of these emotions. This may not seem like a super big deal to some people, but I really haven't experienced any "major hardship" in my life. No serious injuries, no loved-ones dying, no huge financial issues, etc. But this was hard for me. So thank you, thank you, thank you to all those who helped me in any way. You have no idea how much I love you. This will probably be a problem the rest of my life and I'm going to have to be careful. But it is what it is. Don't feel bad for me, I'm fine :) I will move on and go back to normal life. For now it's one baby step at a time, which I am okay with! Every small step is a miracle and something worth celebrating!
xoxo,
kay
