Things People Don't Tell You About Postpartum Pt. 2 - PHYSICAL CHANGE

 Everybody always tells you, "Your life is about to change" when you have a baby. But what does that really mean or look like? There definitely isn't one answer, but a HUGE change is the physical part. 

I will preface this post by saying a) you just birthed a ~8lb baby b) be kind to yourself. Kinder than you've ever been c) our bodies will never be the same and are not supposed to d) our bodies are INCREDIBLE. Remember that. Always.

I look at this photo (one week postpartum) and think wow. I was so happy. So tired. Recovering. Easing into this new body. Mourning an old body. There is a lot of change to say the least.

It's interesting to me that when you're pregnant, people make comments like, "wow you are glowing" or "you are the cutest pregnant woman ever," and then after the baby is born it's "you do not look like you just had a baby" or "wow, you look amazing". While I understand that these are coming from a good place, it can actually be worse for a mother's body image of herself. Why is the focus on our bodies, anyway? Might I suggest if you have a friend or family member that just had a baby to not even comment about how she looks. Simply ask how they are doing and when you can take them a meal. 

You hear a lot about the pregnancy changes...swollen ankles, back pain, etc. but WHAT really happens to your body after the baby is actually born? Here are some thoughts:

1) You still look ~6 months pregnant right after your baby is born. No, your stomach doesn't "disappear" or magically go back to where it was immediately (or maybe ever). It will decrease in size over the next few weeks but it's not immediate.

^^one week postpartum

2) Swelling: This also does not necessarily go away right away. Your blood pressure may be high, your ankles may still be swollen, you may get a fever. Your body just took a beating from that birth.

3) People warned me about how peeing or the first poop may hurt (and could hurt for a while). I actually didn't experience this, but I know many women do.

4) While we're on the topic, you may pee a little when you laugh, jump, workout, or even just randomly. Advice? DO THE KEGALS. If you don't know what that is, look it up. I was actually pretty strict on this and I truly don't experience the little pee spurts like everyone says. It could also be because I had a c-section (though I did still push for 1.5 hours), who knows.

 This leads me into my next topic, which is c-section recovery. Skip if this doesn't apply to you. But basically they drug you up, cut you open, and then expect you to be "fine to go home" a few days later? Who are these people? Satanists? But seriously, it is no joke.

5) Sitting up for the first time after a c-section was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Here I was a year ago, fit as can be, and now I can't even sit up? Frustrating to say the least.

6) Walking after the c-section is also difficult. I felt like a grandma as I took my first steps up off the hospital bed. First, I could only walk in the room. Then, barely up and down the hallway. Finally, just slowly for the next couple of weeks. 

7) You will have a scar from the procedure that will be covered for the next couple of weeks with bandage strips. The scar will most likely be below the bikini line so nobody will ever see it. And even though it's a scar, the surgeon just did a major surgery through a lot of layers, so you may still feel lingering pain or burning around it. It takes time to heal. 

8) Back to our regular list: another thing to add is stretch marks. I had very few, but I think it's almost inevitable that you will have some. If you're super lucky and don't have them, that's pretty rare--even through all the oil you rub on that belly during pregnancy.

9) You AND baby will come home in diapers. For some it's less, but you will basically have a period that lasts sometimes weeks after giving birth. Pro tip: take the peri bottle from the hospital or buy the Frida bottle.

10) Sex. When asking about ideas for this post this topic actually came up a lot. Sex is forever a taboo subject in our culture and continues to be when talking about it postpartum. I am not a professional, but all I will say is it's okay to not have sex after the cleared "6 weeks". Talk about it with your partner. Tell them whatever is going on, whether you're exhausted, still hurting, or scared to get pregnant again. Just be open and honest about it. Plus things may be different down there and it could be a learning curve once you do decide to have intercourse again (get lube).

11) Your boobs will look different. Most likely larger, possibly different sizes, nipples and areolas may be different shape or color. And they will probably not go back to looking like how they did before (possible deflation).

12) Sweating. I definitely sweat more postpartum and even sometimes wake having night sweats.

13) Sitz bath. For those of you that had vaginal deliveries--look up a sitz bath. They work wonders.

14) New Wardrobe. Your clothes may fit you, but don't be surprised if they don't--maybe ever. At first I was just thinking about my pants, but it's the shirts that didn't fit anymore. My boobs were way bigger than before and I couldn't button some of my shirts. You may just have to tell your partner that with every baby comes a new wardrobe ;)

15) Because of all the hormones, you may lose some hair and then get little baby hairs that start to grow. It's the worst.

16) The skin on your stomach may feel like it's not attached to your muscle anymore. This is actually quite common. Re-training your stomach muscles is no joke, and you may want to look into a postpartum belly-band. I actually wish I would have done this...but nobody told me about it--which is why I'm telling you!

17) Pelvic floor. You know there are therapists for this, right? So many things can happen to the pelvic floor that I won't even get that much into it...but basically you can have urinary retention, the muscles can spasm out, you can't pee normal, etc., etc. I would say see a pelvic floor specialist.

18) Random weird changes. Though none of these happened to me, I've heard your eye sight, foot size, and teeth can all change. The teeth thing I will say happens because of hormones+you don't take care of your teeth. But the other two are strange!

Again, be kind to yourself. Your body just took a freaking beating and you handled it like a champ. Nothing will be the same, and it takes some time to accept our new, beautiful bodies. And just know that women are forever better/stronger than men ;) YOU are a strong woman and mother.

xoxo,

kay

Things People Don't Tell You About Postpartum Pt. 1 - BREASTFEEDING

I have been meaning to write about this topic for a LONG time and now that Cooper is almost a year old, maybe I actually have the energy to do so. This series is for anyone who is going to be a mother, who is anxious about motherhood, for you to laugh if you're already a mom, or if you ever visit a friend or family member who is a new mom. There is a lot--and I mean a LOT--of things people don't tell you. You get information about pregnancy and birth but hardly anything on postpartum. Why is that? Do we think that people need space and can "figure it out" on their own once the baby is born? Is it too awkward for people to talk about? Well...things could get uncomfortable but if nobody else is willing to say something then I WILL.

Let's start out with one of the most important pieces to postpartum life: breastfeeding.

Some people will say "breastfeeding is so hard" or "breastfeeding sucks" or "I LOVE breastfeeding, there's nothing more bonding". These things are all true, but there's WAY more than just those little phrases that you need to know.

1) This is a learning process for both you AND your baby. Neither of you have done it before. You just barely met. It's like two people getting thrown into some job and you just have to wing it. That's what it's like. It's hard.

2) What is the most comfortable position for you and the baby? Yes, there are multiple. I didn't find out until 4 months in that I actually preferred laying down. It was easier on my back and was nice to snuggle at the same time. You don't only have to hold them across your body.

3) You will be sore. You may crack, bleed, develop little "milk blebs", or have bumps that you have no idea how they showed up

4) You may produce too much or too little milk. It's not like you just produce the right amount of milk for your baby. I had an oversupply and was constantly squeezing out my boobs into the sink because I already had the whole freezer full of milk (good problem), but seriously they needed to calm down. Definitely pump once in a while to see how much milk you are actually producing. ALSO, some women really just don't produce enough milk (despite trying the milk cookies and milk tea, etc.). It is okay. Supplementing is okay. Your baby will be OKAY. As will you.

5) You can use a nipple shield. There are all different shapes and sizes of nipples that may be hard at first for a baby to latch. OR you may just be sore and need a little break. And yes, it is possible for the baby to latch without the shield after using one. I am case in point.

6) GET A LACTATION CONSULTANT TO YOUR HOME. NOT just in the hospital--your HOME. They are covered by insurance (usually) and are more help than you could even imagine. They will point out things that will help in every way--whatever the problem. Don't even question it. As soon as you have your baby, schedule an appointment right after your milk comes in. It will save a lot of headache.

7) You're going to be leaking all the time. You might wake up in a pool of milk. Once it's been 3 hours--your boobs will just start leaking. 

8) Going braless is easier but also maybe not the right option. It's so much easier to not be wearing anything or not wear a bra, but the leaking happens more. I found that if I had a bra, the leaking stopped faster.

9) Your other boob will spray milk when the baby starts eating on the other side (pro tip: get a Hakaa pump and put that on the other side...just when you first start bf'ing)

10) There is a "let down". When baby starts eating, you'll feel this weird tingle in your boobs after about a minute.

11) It may take up to an hour (maybe even more..) for baby to do a whole feeding. It takes some time, but there will be a point when they are finally doing feedings in 5-10 min. It's annoying, but be patient.

12) When your baby starts to sleep longer stretches, you will not only wake up in a pool of milk, but your boobs will be huge, rock-hard basketballs. It takes some time to adjust and you may have to pump a little. I had an oversupply so I would literally just squeeze them out into the sink. Crazy times.

13) People will often be either judgy or fascinated or awkward when you breastfeed in public. My advice: screw them, and just do it. It's natural. Your baby needs it. It's not always convenient. But you gotta do it. Cover or not, it's sometimes hard to do in public, especially when you're still learning. Though once they're older, it's still difficult because they get really distracted.

14) Biting. This will not happen obviously until they have teeth (around 6 months) but it is the worst thing ever. You want to slap your baby when they do that. Resist. But just flick them on the cheek instead. They'll cry, and maybe even not want to breastfeed for a little bit, but it works. 

15) Cluster feeding is a thing. There will be a time(s) when your baby wants to eat every hour. Your nipples will be raw. Get nipple cream and ice.

16) You will eat a LOT and be hungry all the time. EAT ALL THE THINGS (Unless your baby is sensitive to something)

17) You can get a "breast friend" pillow that helps at the beginning to just hold the baby so your arms don't get so tired. I used this for a minute but actually thought it was less comfortable.

18) Each boob is not the same. Some produces more milk because some have more ducts. There will be times when your baby may prefer a certain side.

19) Clogs. The dreaded clogs. It's inevitable that it will happen and you may even get mastitis. Luckily I never did because I would massage the hell out of it. Take a hot shower and seriously dig into that thing until it unclogs. It hurts and will be sore, but it's better than getting an infection. 

20) Take a break. You can pump! Have your partner do the middle-of-the-night feed and get some rest. 

21) Even though it's a challenge, there is nothing better than when you're breastfeeding, stroking your baby's cheek or head and then they look up at you and SMILE or GIGGLE. I have loved breastfeeding and through all the challenges, it has been a very rewarding experience.

Hope this helps anyone that need this info or at the very least got a laugh out of it. Happy feeding!

xoxo,

kay

3 WEEKEND TRIPS FROM SEATTLE

 Seattle is a gem in of itself, but you can see a lot of the city in a few days. If you're wanting to venture out and see more of the beautiful state of Washington, these are 3 weekend trips from Seattle that are well-worth it! (Also get ready for a ton of photos)

First on our list is Suncadia, which is in Cle Elum. It's about an hour and a half drive from the city (so you could go for a day-trip as well). Alex, Cooper and I went here in June and it was such a perfect trip (even during Covid). We stayed at the Lodge at the end of the street. You can also rent condos/Airbnb's

Things to do in and around Suncadia:

1) If you're a golfer, Suncadia is your heaven. There are four golf courses and a driving range

2) Cle Elum Lake--20 minutes from Suncadia and fun to paddleboard, kayak, and swim

3) Trail running/walking/biking; there are trails everywhere around Suncadia. You can explore for hours

4) Walk down to the river; there are "stairs of death" behind the Lodge down to the Cle Elum river. I will tell you now, there are a lot of stairs and it's a great workout! However, once you get to the river you can float, play or fish! Alex loves fishing and did some fly fishing on this river

5) Cooper Lake--40 minutes from Suncadia. This is a small, mountain lake that is just breathtaking! There are camping spots along the river and it is a serene place to fish and play in the water

6) Walk downtown Rosalyn--cute (delicious) restaurants and shops

Second on this list is Whidbey Island. I came here as a kid to Fort Casey either for soccer tournaments or our fifth grade overnight camp. So many fun memories. Whidbey Island is easy to get to by ferry from Mukilteo or you can drive around through Deception Pass. They take almost the same amount of time if they ferry is crowded. The island is quite large and there are a lot of fun activities to do for all ages! We went with some great friends of ours. 

Things to do on Whidbey Island: 

1) Fort Casey--As I mentioned above, this is such a fun place to visit for everyone. It is an old military base that still have cannons, bunkers, and switchboards to walk around. There are open fields, places to eat lunch, and go to the beach as well

2) Driftwood beach--You will find washed up driftwood at most beaches here so it's fun to make forts or just play around

3) Berry picking--Like most places in Washington, the fruit game here is strong. There are wild blackberries during blackberry season all over the island. We were lucky enough to pick some on our daily walks

4) Whidbey Island Ice Cream--this place was worth mentioning, it's that good!

5) Mukilteo Ferry--Half of the fun going to Islands is riding the ferry! It's about a 20-minute ride; enough time to walk up on deck and be outside for a little bit

6) Deception Pass--We chose to drive home this way and so glad we did! Deception pass is beautiful. You can walk along the bridge and go down to the beach. The water is the clearest blue color!

7) Hike along the bluffs--not mentioning any hike in particular but there are beautiful spots along the coast of the island that you can hike and see views of other islands/the water. Just breathtaking.

Last place on our list is Port Townsend and Sequim. I have been here multiple times and it is one of my favorite places in all of Washington! First, you get to take the ferry over, which by this point you know I love. (sidenote: this is a great ferry to take for just a daytrip. It leaves from Edmonds and goes to Kingston--a quaint town). There is a lot to discover in these areas and the adventure is endless.

Things to do in Port Townsend and Sequim:

1) Walk downtown Port Townsend--Shops, restaurants on and off the water that are excellent, or you can take your meal to go and sit by the water

2) Port Townsend Light House--Cute, old light house by the rocky beach (note: this is a state park so you do have to pay)

3) Olympic Game Farm--if you're going to do one thing, do this. One of the funnest experiences ever. You drive through an animal farm and the animals come right up to your car. You get to feed them bread and pet them. And it's not just horses or deer but also zebras and buffalo. There is another area where there are caged animals--bears, lions, tigers, etc.

4) Fat Smitty's--Fun burger joint on the side of the road in Sequim. It is custom to hang dollar bills from the ceiling and wall.

5) Purple Haze Lavender Farm--Open from May to September, this is a beautiful place to visit. There are fields of lavender, a flower garden, and a chicken coop for kids to see

6) Whale watching day trip--There are multiple companies that will take you throughout the San Juan to see whales. Usually a 4-hour trip and almost a guarantee to see whales or you get your money back.

I hope you enjoy these trips! All so unique but beautiful areas! Happy vacation.

xoxo,

kay